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Frequently asked questions

Clear answers about joining, meeting people, correspondence, privacy, safety, and account controls on Pen-Pals.net.

A little history behind the name

A legacy worth acknowledging

Pen-Pals.net is a completely new and independent service, but this domain already has a place in the history of the international pen-pal community. Years ago, Lorrin Lee used Pen-Pals.net while serving as an agent for International Pen Friends (IPF). Lorrin had originally been appointed as an IPF agent by the organisation’s founder, Neil O’Donnell.

IPF is now approaching its 60th anniversary. Across those decades, its traditional postal pen-friend service has connected families across generations - in some cases three generations of the same family have joined. Even in an age of social media and instant communication, interest in genuine correspondence remains, and traditional letter writing continues to find new life.

Today’s Pen-Pals.net is not affiliated with, operated by, or a continuation of International Pen Friends. The two services are separate. What we do want to carry forward is the broader spirit behind genuine international correspondence: people from different countries and backgrounds taking the time to actually get to know one another.

If you prefer the traditional experience of real handwritten letters and postal correspondence,
International Pen Friends is still doing exactly that and is worth visiting.

About Pen-Pals.net

What is Pen-Pals.net?
Pen-Pals.net helps people meet international pen pals through profiles, introductions, private messages, and digital Snail Mail. It is built around genuine friendship, correspondence, languages, cultures, and taking the time to actually get to know another person.
Is Pen-Pals.net a dating site?
No. Pen-Pals.net is deliberately built around friendship and correspondence rather than dating, swiping, follower counts, popularity, or social feeds.
Who is Pen-Pals.net for?
Pen-Pals.net is for adults interested in international friendship, language exchange, cultural exchange, thoughtful correspondence, or simply meeting people outside their usual social circle.
Why does Pen-Pals.net require a completed profile?
New members complete a short onboarding step with basic profile details such as age, country, languages, and interests before entering the main app. This keeps Discover useful and avoids empty profiles.

Meeting people

How does Discover work?
Discover lets you browse public member profiles and find people you may want to get to know. Members can control their availability, profile visibility, location detail, and other contact preferences.
What is an introduction?
An introduction is the first message sent to someone you have not spoken with before. It lets the recipient read what you wrote and decide whether they would like to begin a conversation.
What happens after I send an introduction?
The other person can read it and choose whether to reply. When they reply, the introduction becomes a conversation.
What happens if someone does not reply?
A reply is always their choice. Pen-Pals.net is designed to prevent unanswered introductions from turning into persistent unsolicited contact.
Can I control who contacts me?
Yes. Settings include availability, introduction controls, blocked users, country exclusions, profile display choices, and communication-mode preferences.

Messaging & Snail Mail

What is the difference between messaging and Snail Mail?
Private messaging is for normal conversation. Snail Mail is a deliberately slower digital letter format built for longer and more thoughtful correspondence rather than rapid back-and-forth chat.
Why does Snail Mail take time to arrive?
The delay is intentional. Snail Mail preserves some of the anticipation and slower rhythm of traditional correspondence while remaining completely digital.
Can Snail Mail include photos?
Yes. A Snail Mail letter can include up to three photos. Photo attachments belong to the Snail Mail experience rather than ordinary instant messaging.
Do I have to use Snail Mail?
No. Snail Mail is an additional way to correspond, not a replacement for ordinary private messaging.
Can I choose which communication modes I accept?
Yes. Members can choose whether they want to accept instant messages, Snail Mail, or both.

Profiles & verification

What does a verified profile mean?
A verified profile means the account recently passed one of the available private verification checks, such as authenticator verification. Other members see only the verified status, not the method used.
What are badges?
Badges are profile markers recognising participation, correspondence, profile completion, account milestones, and similar activity. They are cosmetic and commemorative rather than a leaderboard or competition.
What are the titles shown on profiles?
Activity titles add some personality to participation on Pen-Pals.net. They are not popularity scores and do not make one member more important than another.
Can I hide my city or activity status?
Yes. Profile settings include controls for location detail, activity status, response information, visibility, and other public-facing information.
Can I stop accepting new conversations?
Yes. You can change your availability and whether you are accepting new conversations without deleting your profile.

Safety & privacy

Can other members see my email address?
Your login email is not part of your ordinary public Pen-Pals.net profile. Members communicate through profiles and the site's own communication tools.
How does blocking work?
Blocking limits contact with another account. Use it whenever you do not want further interaction with someone.
How does reporting work?
Reports are sent to moderation tools for staff review. Reporter details and protected moderation evidence are kept away from ordinary users.
What if someone sends unwanted sexual content?
Unsolicited sexual or NSFW content is not allowed. You can block the account and report the content for staff review.
What should I do if someone makes me uncomfortable?
You can stop responding, block the account, and report the behaviour when moderation review is appropriate. You are never required to continue a conversation with another member.
Can people under 18 use Pen-Pals.net?
No. Pen-Pals.net is an adult service. Accounts identified as belonging to someone under 18 are not permitted to continue using the platform.

Account & support

Can I temporarily deactivate my account?
Yes. Account controls allow you to step away temporarily without immediately choosing permanent account deletion.
Can I download my data?
Yes. Signed-in members can download an account-data export from Settings.
Can I permanently delete my account?
Yes. Permanent account deletion is available from Settings and is separate from temporary deactivation.
What happens if my account is suspended?
A suspended account has normal access restricted while the moderation action is in effect. Eligible suspensions can be challenged through the site's appeal process.
How do I contact support?
If you can sign in, use Help & support from inside the app. If you cannot sign in, use the public contact form.

Need help with your account?

If you can sign in, use Help & support from the app. If you cannot sign in, send a message through the contact form.

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